The Curse of the Full Moon
by chescaannie
Summary: Remus was in love with Sirius and Sirius loved him. They were together and happy until James, Lily, and Peter all die within a week of each other and Sirius is sent to Azkaban for causing it. Remus is confused by his feelings he HATES Sirius for what he did, but love still exists. When he escapes Azkaban, Remus wants to protect Harry and he will find out the truth as he does so.
1. Chapter 1

The Curse of the Full Moon.

Remus stared at the newspaper, shaking. He didn't know how to feel. _Notorious Criminal, Sirius Black, escapes Azkaban_ , the headline read. Remus didn't want to think about what he would do if he came face-to-face with the man. His best friend, the one who had stood by him despite the disease that was running through his veins. His first love, the first one to love him back in that way and wasn't ashamed to say so. The boy, the man, that always knew how to make him smile no matter what had just happened or how much pain he was in. The boy who had told a secret that led to the murder of two of his other best friends and almost their young son – of whom James had made Sirius Godfather. The boy who had personally murdered Remus' only other friend along with several muggles and had laughed.

It was his fault that Remus would never see James, Lily, or Peter again. It was his fault that Harry had been raised as a muggle orphan. It was his fault that Remus had spent the last 144 full moons entirely alone. They say there's a fine line between love and hate, and that goes both ways. Yes, Remus had loved Sirius once, more than he had thought possible, but the same was true for the amount of hate that coursed through his veins right now.

This didn't stop the memories though, especially as he readied himself to go back to Hogwarts again, and he constantly thought about the hundreds of happy memories he'd had with the three (four when he included Lily) of them. It was only going to get worse when he taught in the classroom where he once sat with his friends, laughed with his friends, learned with his friends. How he would get through the first week without breaking down, he didn't know. Especially when he would be teaching Harry, who Dumbledore had said looked exactly like James had, but with Lily's eyes. How could he live with that constant reminder of two of his closest friends?

But Sirius' escape had made Remus even more determined to go. He had to look after Harry, especially now that Sirius was out and rumoured to be seeking Harry out to kill him. Remus wasn't sure if this was true, but he had thought that Sirius would be incapable of selling out his best friends, especially the one that had put a roof over his head when his family refused.

A month later, Remus was sat on the Hogwarts express in the compartment that he had always shared with his friends, with his head on the window and his eyes closed, listening to the ever-familiar sounds around him.

"Come on, everywhere else is full." A female voice said and three steps of footsteps entered the compartment. Remus kept his eyes closed, pretending to sleep as he remembered sitting here with his friends, full of excitement for another year at Hogwarts.

"Arthur said that Sirius Black might be looking for me." Said one of the voices after a couple of minutes of fairly ordinary conversation. Remus' heart began to beat faster at the sound. Could it be? Had James' son chosen to sit in the same compartment that he was?

His eyes flickered open, trying to be inconspicuous, and immediately saw the boy who sat across from him. He closed them quickly again but used the image in his mind to decide. Yes. The boy was the spitting image of James, even to the fact that he needed glasses and had incredibly untidy hear.

He wanted to speak, say something, introduce himself. But what would he say? 'Hi Harry, I knew you when you were a baby. I was best friends with your parents in school as well as the man who caused their death. Sorry I haven't reached out before now but I didn't want to embarrass you with having to know me. See, I'm a werewolf and you have enough problems.'

No. Remus said nothing. He didn't move until he felt another being enter the compartment, filling it with cold sadness. Remus had had a lot of time over the past few years to battle these bad thoughts and was getting quite good at it now. He knew how to deal with a Dementor but the three thirteen-year olds around him didn't. He stood up and pulled out his wand.

"None of us are hiding Sirius Black under our cloaks!" He shouted.

He summoned his happiest memory and let it fill him. For a moment he forgot that Sirius was a mass-murderer who killed his friends. He forgot all of the bad things that he had done thirteen years ago and just thought of him. He thought of the first time he'd said "I love you.". He thought of him at the first time they'd kissed. Remus had been nervous, sure that Sirius didn't feel the same way; that he fancied one of Lily's friends, Marlene. But he had kissed him instead and neither had stopped smiling for hours afterwards. He let these thoughts fill his brain, his soul, his entire being before channelling it out through his wands and shouting the incantation.

"EXPECTO PATRONUM!" The Dementor was pushed backwards by the wolf that had erupted from his wand and forced out of the compartment. He turned around and saw Harry laid on the floor, his friends beside him. A moment later he awoke, although the lights had returned and the Dementors were no longer on the train.

"How are you feeling, Harry?" Remus asked him.

"Who was screaming? I heard a woman screaming?" He asked, looking slightly bewildered, his two friends shared a look.

"No one was screaming Harry…" The girl replied.

Remus pulled a bar of chocolate out of his pocket and handed it to him.

"Here. Eat, you'll feel better." He told Harry. "I'm going to speak to the driver, make sure we're going to make no more unscheduled stops." He stepped out, leaving the tree teenagers staring out at him confusedly.

In reality, Remus knew that there was no point in speaking to the driver but he had to leave. He could feel the tears pricking at his eyes as he remembered the thoughts he'd had, the memories he'd mustered. It was _his_ fault! How could he save him from what was widely thought to be a fate worse than death?

Remus was upset, confused, he wished that everything would go back to normal. But normal had not been possible for almost twelve years, and he knew it never would again.

 **Ok, a short chapter to start us off. I'm loving the ideas I have for this fic so, providing I find the time to write, this should be good. Let me know what you think of this chapter and if you think I'm wasting my time. See you all next time! – Chescaannie xx**


	2. Chapter 2

**If anyone asks, I'm doing my university assignments XD. Sorry if I can't update that often but my last hand in is next week and I'm pretty stressed. Hope you enjoy this chapter, please send me a review whether you love it or hate it (constructive criticism is welcome so I can improve my writing) and I'll see you all next time – chescaannie xx P.S a lot of the speech is direct from JK, no point trying to improve a masterpiece**

Remus had almost a whole year of hearing the rumours, watching Harry, helping him to grow as a person. It made him happy to be beside his friends' son. It was like having both James and Lily beside him again; he had aspects of both of their spirits as well as their looks. He was even happy for a time – with the wolfsbane potion he had very little to worry about in terms of his "furry little problem" (as James had always called it).

The night he confiscated the map was strange and filled with mixed emotions. He watched as his friends greeted him in different ways and smiled, remembering when they were four friends, four people. Before two of them died at the hands of another leaving Remus all alone, sat in his tower office at Hogwarts, wishing he could be with his friends again.

He checked the map nightly, checking that Harry and his friends were safely tucked in the tower, especially once Sirius had broken into the castle and the tower. It had been empty – thankfully – but Remus was glad he didn't find Remus as he wasn't sure what either of them would have done. Despite everything that Sirius had done since they were at school themselves, Remus still chose to believe that Sirius had loved him, at some point at least, and wanted to think that there was a part of him that still loved him, even if it was buried deep beneath the fur of his dog form – a form that he had learned for Remus.

Then, one night as he watched the map as usual, he saw someone he didn't expect to see on the map. Peter Pettigrew, the label said, and he was beside another label – Sirius Black. There was a third label, as well, Ronald Weasley. Remus was confused, he was sure he'd seen their names together but… they had disappeared only a moment after he had spotted them. They were followed off the page by two other names, Harry and Hermione.

Without another thought, Remus picked the map up off the desk he was sat and left the office. He had never ran so fast to the Whomping Willow as he realised what could be happening. The tree was still as he approached, Harry and Hermione couldn't be too far in front of him, he thought once he was through the secret opening and the tree was once again alive with movement. In fact, it was only a moment later that he heard voices up the stairs, Remus took out his wand ready.

He opened the door and approached Sirius who was in his human form and had been knocked to the floor.

"Finally the flesh reflects the madness within." Remus spat. His hatred for the man he loved was filling him up so much that he couldn't contain it. How dare he. How dare he live when James, Lily, and Peter died. The map had lied. It must have. Peter couldn't be here, it was impossible. But here was Sirius, right in front of him. He could be blamed. He _should_ be blamed.

"You'd know all about the madness within, wouldn't you?" Remus could almost hear the laugh in his tone and lowered his wand slightly. He could still see the old Sirius inside of him, trying to get out. Remus thought for a moment before realising that he was still the same Sirius. They had not seen each other since before James and Lily's deaths. They hadn't been able to speak before he had gone to Azkaban and, since Sirius hadn't even been given a trial, Remus had never heard what had happened from him.

 _Did you do it?_ He asked without speaking. They'd been so close for years that they could do this, all it took was a slightly raised eyebrow here or there and both knew what was being said. He could see the hatred in Sirius' face but knew it wasn't for him. He knew he was innocent.

"The rat!" Sirius hissed and Remus turned around to see Ron clutching a brown rat that was wriggling to be free.

"Are you sure?" Remus asked, looking at his best friend once again, he couldn't help the small smile that slipped through onto his face.

"Enough talk, Remus! Let's kill him!" He shouted, he was getting desperate and Remus understood why. Sirius had carried this information for twelve years, he'd spent twelve years knowing who had _really_ killed his best friends but no one was willing to listen.

"Wait–"

"I did my waiting!" Sirius shouted, his voice filling the small room ten-fold. "Twelve years of it! In Azkaban!" It seemed to be an accusation and Rems heard it. _Why_ he was asking. _Why didn't you make them see sense? you know that I would never have done it._ His glare was so strong that Remus had to turn away.

"Very well, kill him. But wait one more minute." Remus placed a hand on his shoulder to stop him from taking another step towards the rat. "Harry has the right to know why." When he looked back, Sirius' glare had softened as he realised that when he had lost his best friend, Harry had lost his parents. Sirius nodded.

"I know why!" Harry shouted, rage was clear in his voice. "You betrayed my parents! You're the reason they're dead!" Sirius closed his eyes and took several steadying breaths. Remus knew this must be killing him, he squeezed his shoulder slightly to let him know that he was still there, standing by his side – where he should have been for the past twelve years.

"No, Harry, it wasn't him." Remus said calmly, reaching out to the boy who he had grown to know over the past months. The one who trusted him, who came to him when he needed help. "Somebody did betray your parents, but it was someone who, until quite recently, I believed to be dead." He looked Harry dead in the eye, promising him he was telling the truth. It seemed to work as Harry calmed a little and his anger seemed to be covered by confusion.

"Who was it then?"

"Peter Pettigrew." Sirius said before Remus could answer. The hatred returned to his voice. "And he's in this room, right now! Come out, come out, Peter! Come out and play!" His gaze was locked onto the rat that Ron was struggling to keep hold of.

The door burst open and in stalked Severus Snape. Sirius sneered. He disarmed Remus, glad to have caught him in the act of supposedly helping Sirius into the castle.

"Once again, Snape, you've used your _brilliant_ mind to come to the wrong conclusion. Remus and I have business that doesn't need your greasy nose poking into it."

"Severus, come now. I thought we'd at least grown civil since we became colleagues." Remus begged, watching his wand pointing at the man he loved, fearing for his life. Sirius just laughed.

"I don't know how you managed it, Rem. You're too good for this nosy idiot." Sirius spat, they never had gotten on but now was not the time to insult the man who was threatening to kill him.

"Be quiet, Sirius." Remus hissed.

"Be quiet yourself!" He whispered back.

"Listen to you too bickering like an old married couple." Snape sneered, looking down his nose at the pair of unarmed wizards. They turned to each other and smiled. They'd been reunited for less than ten minutes and everything was like it always had been. What had been meant as an insult had been taken as a compliment and the pair thought about how, if it had been legal, they probably would be an old married couple.

Whilst they zoned out for a moment, however, Harry had taken Hermione's wand and had disarmed Snape with such force that he had fallen and collapsed onto the rickety old bed by the wall.

"Tell me about Peter Pettigrew!" He demanded, Sirius nodded, despite the shock.

"Of course, Harry. We were friends at Hogwarts, the four of us, and then he chose his life over your parents."

"No! Pettigrew's dead!" Harry shouted in response. He wasn't going to be believe them very easily apparently. " _You_ killed him!" he accused Sirius.

"No!" Remus jumped between them as Harry kept the wand pointed at Sirius. "He didn't, Harry. I thought the same thing until tonight, when I saw his name appear on the map."

"So the map lied then!" Harry shouted, shaking with rage.

"The map never lies!" Sirius shouted back. He seemed offended at the thought of the creation of himself and his friends lying. Remus agreed, Harry didn't know that they had created it but it seemed to be an insult to his father's memory. "Peter's right here." Sirius turned and started towards Ron who looked very concerned for his safety.

"Me? No. You _are_ mental." Ron muttered just loud enough for them to hear. Sirius laughed.

"Not you. I'm not an idiot, boy. Your rat!" Ron shook his head.

"He's been in my family for…"

"Twelve years? Seems like an awfully long life for a rat. It seems as though he's lost a toe as well."

"All that was left of Pettigrew was…" Realisation dawned on Harry's face and he no longer looked as though he might kill Remus and Sirius, but also turned on the rat.

Suddenly, the rat broke free of Ron's grasp and ran across the floor, towards a hole in the door. Before he could escape, however, Sirius managed to transform him back into a human that was far too large to fit through the gap before he did.

The rat-turned-man turned – his twelve years as a rat apparently having made him look only half-human – and looked around the tiny room at the five people that surrounded him.

"My friends!" He smiled suddenly. "My old friends, Sirius, Remus, and little Harry." He turned towards Harry.

"You don't get to talk to Harry!" Sirius spat. He had a wand in his hand and he was pointing it as Peter, shaking with anger. "Not after what you did to his parents!" Peter turned and looked at Sirius and Remus with sad, longing eyes. There was nothing left of the Peter they'd once known. He had been disappearing once the war began and he began to get scared and now he was completely gone; leaving only a shell of a man behind.

"He was going to kill me, Sirius! What would you have done?"

"I would have died before I betrayed my friends!" Sirius yelled back. "I should kill you, now!" Sirius took a step forwards and held his wand steady, staring deeply at Peter, Remus knew that he could – and would – do it.

"No!" Harry yelled. All three men turned to look at him. "I don't think my father would want his best friend to become a murderer."

"He's right, Sirius. That's not what James would want." Remus whispered to him.

"Very well. We'll take him back to the castle and speak with Dumbledore, have him call Fudge and send this man," he pointed down to Peter who was grovelling at Harry's feet, "to Azkaban tonight!"

Remus and Harry were bound to Peter as they walked down from the shack, through the tunnel and out into the grounds again. It wasn't until he felt the moonlight on his back that Remus remembered something very important that he'd forgotten – tonight was the full moon. He was struck by horror as he felt the well-known pain of the transformation and didn't have time to warn anyone of what was coming until his jaw had extended and his teeth had grown so much that he could no longer talk. In his half-human state, he saw Sirius, looking down at him worriedly as he writhed on the floor, but then he lost control.

By the time he woke up in the middle of the forest as the sun rose the next morning, Sirius had had to flee because Peter had escaped, and Snape had told everyone and their mother of his affliction. He had had half an hour of a perfect life, a year of a steady job. But who was he kidding? He'd never been able to stick out anywhere for long.

In his office, as he packed, he found a piece of parchment with a drawing of a moon on the front. On the other side of it was two-words. _Grimmauld Place_. Suddenly, his life didn't seem so bleak. He was sad to say goodbye to Harry but, for once in his life, he knew where he was going and he was excited to get there.

 **Yay! Hope you enjoyed this chapter, I will try to update soon but please drop me a review in the meantime (they honestly make my life) and I'll see you all next time! – Chescaannie xx**


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